Friday, June 5, 2009

I'm a convicted murderer and I ride...

I'm all for better looking cycling jerseys-- No one pays me a dime to ride my bike so I'll not be wearing a billboard for a line of pens, pregnancy tests, or an industrial adhesives manufacturer. Or a gas company. Or multi-national bank. Or even a transportation authority.

I have a soft spot for anything featuring a skull or other skeletal components. Primal Wear has produced some of my favorites-- the Bone Collector, Grand Trunk (no longer in production), and X-Ray. There's also the Jolly Roger, but I'm not such a fan of flames. Overdone, IMHO.

Northwave produces a very simple, striking Skeleton jersey. Just black and white. They have a Punisher skull jersey. Very badass, but...

(Sorry, Rock Racing's skull design is right out.)

So whenever I see a jersey utilizing a skull motif I pay attention and go in for a closer look.

This time, however, I was rewarded with a real stinker.

Behold! Deathrow Velo!

So are they a "team" or association of cyclists that are united in their incarceration for heinous crimes (and thus unable to ride-- how ironic)?

No, no... that can't be it. Wait a minute... there has to be something here. Um. "Deathrow Velo" is all about being hard-core. Something about being sentenced to death, right?

"Dude. I ride bikes and thus am sentenced to death! Because I'm hard-core!!"

No, no... that doesn't work. Riding bikes is too much fun.

Wait! I've got it. "Dude, I just murdered that trail/sprint/runup! And thus must be sentenced to death. Awesome!!!"

That still seems just so awkward and clunky.

I give up. Maybe "Deathrow Velo" is just a poorly though-out concept for a line of so-so cycling clothing. Trivializing the state-sanctioned murder of a human being (and the victims of deathrow inmates) seems like a pretty poor tactic to make jersey designs seem badass.


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