Bicycling: The New Golf.

Yeah. Bicycling is "the new golf" according to some pap printed in Bicycling mag a couple of months ago.

I think we have Bicycling magazine to thank for that. Be sure to visit them at bicycling.com and thank them for sh*tting all over the sport I love. (Yeah-- do it for me.)

For the past few months I couldn't flip through the magazine without twitching a couple of times. It's the signs of absurd affluency that piss me off. Ads for piloting school? (Featuring the shadow of a small airplane over a golf course-- awesome.) Those retarded Scott USA ads featuring mountain bikes with more composite materials than a Stealth bomber-- yeah those things cost EIGHT THOUSAND DOLLARS. What?

Obviously I AM NOT a typical representative of Bicycling magazine's readership demographic.

What has me all fired up enough to actually spend some of my precious time ranting?

It's the June issue feature "2008 Editors' Choice". There are apparently user categories that I was not aware of. The editors' pick for "recreational" road bike is the Cannondale Six13 that costs US$1,800. uh...okay. To me "recreational" connotes someone that rides occasionally. But the Cannondale is hardly some Wal-Mart clunker worthy of only occasional bike-path excursions.

Then we have the "enthusiast" road bike pick: The Jamis Xenith Pro for a fiddling US$3,200. No, I didn't get the first two digits transposed. One of the testers had the temerity to say this: "Any hardworking rider looking to stretch a dollar would be foolish not to consider the Xenith Pro." I'm sorry but that's a boat-load of dollars to "stretch". In fact that really isn't "stretching" hard-earned dollars AT ALL. That is, in fact, SHOVELLING them on. That's rolling them up and using them to light your fat-cat stogie with.

I'm sorry, but I'm an "enthusiast". I love bikes. I love what bikes represent. I love my old rusty 1989 Specialized Stumpjumper Comp. I love my 1994 Cannondale R400 road bike (that I bought for US$650-ish back in 1994.). I love my 2001 Cannondale F700 (US$900 ON SALE!) MTB and my 2006 LeMond Poprad (US$1,200 full price). I love them all.

When I ride, I'm serious about riding. I love riding. I don't use a heart-rate monitor-- never will. No power-measuring devices. When I shop for parts I wait for sales, use coupons or even scrounge Craigslist.

Best of all is the "entry level" road bike. The US$930 LeMond Reno. What does that mean? Is an "entry level" rider not a "recreational" rider? Do they ride differently? So if one is enthusiastic about bike then one wouldn't be entry level.

I'm damned enthusiastic about bikes (you may recall from earlier in this post) and that "entry level" LeMond is looking pretty sweet.

I just don't understand much of what bicycling mag publishes these days. Maybe it's time for me to take up golf.

Pffft. Not.

Thanks goodness for Dirt Rag magazine.