Frank talk about one's butt...

Ow. My taint.

Last weekend I rode about 18 miles off-road (the Bear Springs trap race) and my perineum just got the smackdown. A few things to take into consideration:

#1 My bike has no rear suspension. Didn't need it in 1989, still don't need it. Grr.

#2 Lame-o Performance bib shorts. (Such a misnomer.)

#3 Mentally mocked other riders slathering up with Chamois Butt'r. (Flippin roadies! Feh!)

All the above adds up to a nicely chafed taint. The "flippin' roadies" knew something that I didn't. (I didn't really think of them as flippin' roadies... I just thought Chamois Butt'r was a bit over-the-top.)

So... there's the Firecracker at Falls City coming up this weekend. I now have:

#1 My bike has no rear suspension. Didn't need it in 1989, still don't need it. Grr.

#2 Excellent Pearl Izumi Slice Ultrasensor bib shorts. Booyah.

#3 A 5-gallon tub of Chamois Butt'r.

Oh... and I used to cramp big-time. Clif's Margarita Shot Bloks (3x the salt!!) did the trick. No cramping and I was able to put forth a little extra effort at the finish without my legs seizing up. Nice. (The straps on my lid are white with salt deposits.)

And another thing-- the Pearl Izumi bibs? They rock. I've got shorts and bibs from Performance (their "Elite" model bib), Nashbar, Giordana, Pearl Izumi, Bellweather... and that's it. Hands down the Pearl Izumi bibs beat them all. I'm not wearing anything else.